Save Me - People Who Put You Down

Do you work or live with people who put you down?

I'm here to tell you there is an ulterior motive ...

When people need to put you down or focus on your shortcomings it is often a result of their own insecurities, rather than because there is something wrong with you.

If you work with people who do this and you are the recipient of consistent put-downs, your self-esteem eventually can be worn down, unless you know how to keep your confidence in these situations.

Keeping confidence when you are constantly being verbally assaulted is not always an easy task, but worth doing to protect your self -worth and also maintain your peace of mind.

Here are some tips to counteract your experiences.

Hold up the mirror to them – It’s actually about them, funnily enough! People who put other people down are trying to elevate themselves, because on the inside they are insecure.

People who are genuinely confident don't behave in this manner. Instead, their behaviour is warm, friendly and positive. Knowing that another person's put-downs are about their own attributes, and not yours, can help you to reflect it back on them.

Compassion is a wonderful attribute so apply it to them. Realize that the behaviour and the insults are not a reflection of your worth, but a reflection of their own short comings.

Be a little assertive. Do not let your self-esteem be eroded by this person, as that is what they seek to provide them with more ‘power’. Let them know what is acceptable and not acceptable to you. If a person starts to put you down, raise your hand to interrupt, and say something like, "I would like to ask for your respect and consideration. I am not willing to put up with this behaviour any longer and expect to be treated respectfully."

Treat yourself with compassion. Keep up your high level of self-esteem. Everyone has strengths. While money, fame, social standing, friendships and relationships can all be taken away, the belief that all people are equally valuable and precious can never be shaken.

Drawing confidence from compassion for your self is a strong foundation not likely to be swayed by the put-downs of others.

Remember that you are in control of your feelings and your behaviour. Other people cannot infiltrate that barrier unless you let them in.

Good luck, hold up that mirror and believe in yourself!