Find Your Missing Parts
I stopped looking for “the one” after a sixteen-year relationship ended which I had believed was the one. I decided to turn my attention inward—to get to know and accept myself, to heal past wounds, and to explore and develop new parts of myself.
What I discovered was that I had to learn to be whole. And when I started to work on that, my life changed.
Love The Life You Live
When I started to discover more about myself and to follow my own path, I started to live a life that was meaningful to me. I was no longer following someone else’s rules and ideas about what I should do.
This can disappoint some people close to you, such as your family. But if you want to find fulfillment in your life, you have to fulfill yourself, not someone else!
And doing what is right for you means you will be in places, jobs, and near people that are aligned with your life path, and with you. So you will have a much better chance of meeting your soul mate, because your soul mate will also be connected to your life path.
A side effect of leading the life you choose is that you automatically become more attractive. You become more real, authentic, substantial, valuable, passionate, happy, and present. This makes you more beautiful in a natural and effortless way, and it will also make you attractive to your soul mate.
Whereas when you try to make yourself attractive in order to find someone, you alter the way you behave and present yourself so that if your soul mate were to show up, he or she might not even recognize you.
A partner who you will be with over the long term will not make a decision about your worth based on a superficial aspect of your appearance. So tap into what feels right for you, do the activities you enjoy, wear the clothes that suit you and in which you feel comfortable.
You will be far more attractive to your soul mate if you look like yourself when you meet them.
Find the Qualities You Love In Others
Most of us express only a small part of who we are. We limit ourselves to the personality—or self—we have become in response to our childhood environment. This is an unavoidable stage in our developmental process because we have to form a self—or ego—that enables us to survive and hopefully thrive in our family and social setting.
And the way we do that is by developing characteristics that meet our survival needs and pushing away any characteristics that aren’t valued or needed. So we all have hidden or disowned parts of ourselves that at some point we need to unearth.
When we haven’t yet unearthed and embraced our disowned parts, we are drawn into relationships with others who express those parts. It is like we are unconsciously trying to complete ourselves through our relationships.
These relationships usually involve intense attraction at first and are characterized by feelings of completeness. But inevitably, they become stifled by strong relationship patterns that form where people get stuck relating to one another from one main part of themselves that bonds with its opposite in the other person.
All you can do is live your life more fully, learn to accept and love yourself more fully and you will love and be loved more fully.