Get Real

'I’m wondering how many times you have been asked the question by someone you have met - ‘tell us a bit about yourself’.

I often wonder about our ‘story’ and whether we think about who we really are. Are we living life authentically or are we living the life we have been conditioned to live? I mean, are you living the life your parents want for you, or the life that the media says spells success. Are you driving the right car, wearing the brands that are cool or working in a job with a grand title so your ‘story’ sounds better when you tell it. If it feels false - are you ready to remove the mask?

Getting to middle age or ‘mid - life enlightenment’ (that’s my name for it), I often see people question their essence or wonder why they are feeling ‘funny’ or like they need to prove something to someone or cannot work out why they are feeling a little ‘depressed’ or unfulfilled. It’s at these moments we may make unhealthy decisions.

Your inner drive and conditioning comes from your influences in early life – that is – your mummy and daddy or the people you are exposed to constantly between the ages of 0 – 7 mostly. These influences condition you as a human being – your thoughts, opinions, behaviours and attitudes and personality traits. Don’t you think it makes practical sense! How did you learn you ABC’s – by being constantly exposed to them and practising them out loud over and over and over.

There is always a sense of frustration when we play our day according to what we think is the right thing. How many of your friends have great careers, earn lots of money and have the externally pleasing lifestyle but are not happy people.

Statistics tell us that the wealthy pursue these things and are depressed or use compulsive behaviours ( a new partner, shopping, alcohol, drugs, excessive travel, constantly pursuing ways to make more money or even abusing others) to cope with their dissatisfaction in life. This behaviour is compensating with false gratification. The funny thing is – you can change your life partner and distract yourself with many of life’s external options, but ultimately you are still the same unhappy person – except you have more things and more distractions in a new environment.The trouble is that compensation doesn’t last for long, no matter what you do.

Take some time out and learn about desires, all the things you love. The easy way to do it is to do the things you like to do or the things that make you feel really good. It doesn’t stop with activities, this applies to the people in your life as well. Which of your friends and family make you feel good when you are around them, which of your friends and colleagues inspire you and make you feel energetic? Who shares your passions?

Your true happiness depends on keeping it real, knowing and understanding who you are as an individual. Try to challenge the beliefs, conditions, parental expectations and all the assumptions you have about life and what it means to you. It’s a tough road to travel but keep walking down it because once you are living for you , then everything you need comes to you without effort.

Try to find a place where you can relax and spend time learning to be still, watch your thoughts and set them free, you also become free — you become all that you really are. You can also realise who you really are.

I want you to be brave – walk through the fire and out the other side. Be courageous like a lion.

When you have this inner peace and well- being, you will naturally connect better in the world and only true and authentic situations and people will appear in your new space.

That’s when you are truly loving the life you live!